At 31, Mai is the lead singer of the HIV Band. She has been at the temple for two years. Her real name is Pissamai Trakulsantimatri.
''I first came here to look after my husband. He was a soldier. We lived in Nan, a very far northern province of Thailand on the Thai-Laotian border. Well, it's the nature of soldiers -- and Thai men -- to go sleeping with prostitutes when they're away. My husband did that. Then he came back and slept with me. I got pregnant. I gave birth to Apisak, a gorgeous little boy. Two and a half months after I gave birth, my little baby boy got sick. We all got tested. The three of us were HIV positive.
''At first I was confused. Not angry; confused. I couldn't think. Then I felt sad. My husband was the same, but in the end we were all in the same boat. We had to support each other.
''I guess it was much later on that I got angry. I didn't want to die. I wanted to kill him at one point. But it doesn't help to think like that. Because HIV is in my body. I can't get it out. What's the point of making it worse by being angry?
''My husband never apologized. He didn't say a single word to say he was sorry. But then again, he was always a quiet sort of person.
''My mother was angrier than me. She burned all the pictures of my husband. She refused to see him; to talk to him. There are seven people in my family, and I'm the only girl, so she loves me especially. My brothers were angry.Then he started to get sick, so I came with him here to the temple. When my husband started to die, my parents came to visit. They spoke to him. I think that was nice of them.
''When you marry somebody, you have to believe and trust that he's only going to love you and nobody else. But in truth, all men play around. He was a soldier; he was only home 10 days a month. But my husband knew about condoms. Anyway, it's the nature of Thai men. It's the alcohol that does it. The men all get together in a group and drink whisky. They get drunk. Then they go to brothels.
''My husband died early last year. When Apiwat was four and a half months old, he died, too. It was very hard to bury my son.
''I'm not sick. That is, I don't have any symptoms of AIDS. I guess I could return home to Nan. But I can do so much more living here and singing in the band. In this way I can help society. Besides, it's great fun. It's a good release from stress. I think if I lived away from the temple, I'd dwell on the fact I had AIDS a lot. Here, I'm too busy. There's always practice and mini-concerts to give!
[Wee] [Mai] [Gob] [Joe] [Oo-an] [Nick] [Dtee] [Gern]